I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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