you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
