she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize