True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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