Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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