You're so nebulous sometimes
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
