ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
