The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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