I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
