All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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