This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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