Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
