I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Life is so much better after having sex.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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