she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
