My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
