I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
