let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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