i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
