yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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