she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
