yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
