Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
