yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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