it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
