You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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