I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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