My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
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his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
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Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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