You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
