Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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