What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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