How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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