Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
