I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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