dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
