Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
