youre lurking in front of me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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