i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
