When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
