Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
