just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
