You made me cry and you don't even care
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
