i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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