So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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