well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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