your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
