haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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