So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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