well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
