So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
