ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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