dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
