So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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