Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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