She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He passed out mid-signature
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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