How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
