She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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