don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
