Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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