i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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