haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
