why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
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I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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