How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
