I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
handjob tips. give me some.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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