come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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