i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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