I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
