When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
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i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My ass is underappreciated
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?