I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
