he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize