Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.

  (917): View more from New York City

  dollar well spent

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  (802): last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears. (917): dollar well spent http://tfl.nu/wmsi
  Replies (15) Good night (3320) Bad night (758)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out

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  (732): feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out http://tfl.nu/y0cc
  Replies (22) Good night (4703) Bad night (1518)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster

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  (484): im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster http://tfl.nu/zma4
  Replies (14) Good night (5385) Bad night (980)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.

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  (973): i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me. http://tfl.nu/dox4
  Replies (8) Good night (3329) Bad night (924)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  im here for your entertainment

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  (401): Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you. (603): im here for your entertainment http://tfl.nu/u5ht
  Replies (7) Good night (2717) Bad night (877)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy

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  (416): Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy http://tfl.nu/lckr
  Replies (15) Good night (1792) Bad night (1087)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  So basically you were a dog.

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  (860): This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground. (802): So basically you were a dog. http://tfl.nu/0n1s
  Replies (14) Good night (8385) Bad night (1042)
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  (631): View more from New York

  yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?

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  (631): yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem? http://tfl.nu/eu3b
  Replies (21) Good night (3469) Bad night (1318)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't text me with that hand

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  (410): SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR (610): Don't text me with that hand http://tfl.nu/c1bj
  Replies (16) Good night (3525) Bad night (741)
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  (789): View more from

  You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down

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  (789): You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down http://tfl.nu/6vfu
  Replies (2) Good night (1406) Bad night (860)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.

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  (307): I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head. http://tfl.nu/1su5
  Replies (2) Good night (1023) Bad night (987)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".

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  (+44): Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis". http://tfl.nu/tct7
  Replies (7) Good night (1670) Bad night (535)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.

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  (504): You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand. http://tfl.nu/3jk2
  Replies (7) Good night (788) Bad night (1691)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.

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  (304): Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about. http://tfl.nu/t5bz
  Replies (3) Good night (917) Bad night (332)
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  (707): View more from California

  You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.

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  (707): You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks. http://tfl.nu/val7
  Replies (2) Good night (324) Bad night (543)

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