as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
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he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception