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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....

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• (954): View more from Florida

  im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls

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• (518): View more from New York

  bad decision saturdays are such a good decision

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (302): View more from Delaware

  this must be what syphilis tastes like

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Found 2 Coors, problem solved.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.

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• (925): View more from California

  I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass

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• (845): View more from New York

  I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception

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