Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
