I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize