the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
