saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
